This guide may help to improve your in-game(and not only) communication skills. Let's say you're talking to a friend, to a person you've just met, or to a newcomer, this guide will help you to keep that conversation going well and not ending up bad. Treating well people can also give you a chance to make new friends.
If you follow these guidelines, you will be able to treat people with the respect that they deserve.
How will this help you? In different nations there are different ways to communicate, different uses and forms of showing respect to people.
For example, here in Italy we use to talk to elders with a particular form of pronominal "you" which shows more respect that just saying simply "you". This thing is not used in all countries, so someone may not know about this.People love to talk to others about what's going on their mind, and if you let them get the time of day to do so, they will do the same for you.
One of the most important things you can know in life is how to communicate positively with another individual. Even if these are only few basic guidelines they may help someone to improve.
You will find here some simple tips on how to improve your English grammar and also your in-game communication skills, which may help you out from ending up in awkward situations and even let you make new friends.
So enough rambling, let's get into it.
Table of contents- Things you should do while communicating
- Things you shouldn't do while communicating
- A basic use of "I" statements
- Basic tips on Grammar
- Striking up a conversation
- How to treat "noobs"
- Conclusion
Things you should do while communicatingThese pointers may be applicable in real life also, make good use of these.
- Listen - What they are saying should be acknowledged. Sometimes only listening may mean a lot to the person you're communicating with.(Also as we're in a concept which is virtual listen is meant as read and understand.)
- Meet the person you're talking with - Obviously this means to meet the person in game, even if it's virtual you let them know that they have your full, undivided attention as your responses and interaction have to be quickier. Meeting people can also reduce possible distractions while talking to each other. It's actually an effective way to talk with someone in-game.
- Hear a person out - Don't make it seem like you don't care for what they're saying(in this case typing). Understand their situation, and look beyond your personal views.
- Be open-minded - Have an open mind for things you're hearing. Don't shut the person out before they can tell you their views; give them an uninterrupted chance to tell you what's on their mind.
- Assume responsibility for two-way dialogue - Don't assume that the person you're talking to is going to be the one carrying on a conversation. Take matters into your own hands to keep the person interested in the conversation. This aspect is really important and isn't that difficult as it may appear, simple things can give you great results.
Things you shouldn't do while communicating- Interrupt - Interrupting a person gives them the message that what they're saying doesn't matter, and that you don't care at all about it.
- Abuse caps-lock - Using "Caps-lock" may give an idea that you're shouting or yelling, and may give a wrong idea about what you are trying to say. It can also be distracting to the people around you as it is automatically eye-catching. Use it only when necessary.
- Blame - Blaming people makes them feel like you are not secure, and that you are not a very open-minded person. No one would like a friend who's continuously blaming, even more if there's no reason to do so or it may not change the situation.
- Force or threaten - Forcing/threatening people makes them feel like you have no respect for them, and that you are a very hard individual. Someone may think that this type of attitude can make you look cool but I don't think anyone would like a person like that as a friend.
- Laugh at people - This makes people feel belittled and insignificant. You should pay attention with this, even if it may be jokes give yourself some limitations.
- Assume you understand - You may not actually understand what a person is saying, so don't cut them short of telling you what's on their mind. They might have a completely different idea than what you are thinking. It may cause you future issues with that person or even in other circumstances.
- Make snap judgments - Don't judge someone before they even speak. This causes you to feel biased thoughts about what's being said. If you think there's something where you wouldn't like to be judged, don't judge aswell.
A basic use of "I" statementsWhat are "I" statements?When you want to say something but don't know what will help, 'I' statement formula is a good step in the right direction. An "I" statement says how it is on my side, how I see it. They eliminate the Put-Downs that are a result of blaming, arguing, judging, name-calling, etc.
An "I" statement consists of four parts:
- The "I"
- What you feel or want
- The event that caused the feelings
- Finally, the effect the action caused to you
So the final output would be like this:
I feel __________ when __________, because __________.Example: I feel bad when I'm talked to in that tone, because it makes me feel belittled.
An important
tip that I can give you is to not to use the word "
you" too much because it may be interpenetrated as blaming the other person. The whole point of this is to try not to blame, and to instead let the person know how their actions are affecting you. This gets your point across much more effectively.
Basic tips on GrammarMost of us aren't English-speakers by country and we can't speak/write perfectly in English but being understandable is very important.
It's not hard to find people who look like they're hitting their keyboard with their heads rather than actually putting it to work. Good use of grammar can do wonders for people when they communicate, but it can also lead to disaster if mistaken.
Not only do you make yourself look uneducated when you can't tell the difference between
then and
than, but you also make it difficult for the person you're talking to to understand what you're saying.
Even if in most cases we can understand what a person who's grammar is terrible is trying to say, it's still more pleasant to read in correct(or atleast understandable) English.
Very simple things can be done to improve your grammar, some of which are as simple as pressing two extra buttons to spell a word correctly.
Please note that, as I said before, I'm not an English-speaker but I do my best to be understandable.AbbreviationsThere are a lot of abbreviations used in English language but the most common, in my opinion, are
U and
Ur. While
U and
Ur can save precious seconds when sending out an important message to your teammates at God Wars(just an example), they can seem a bit redundant in conversation. Many have to admit that abbreviations have saved them from being hardly understandable, or helped in giving an impression of not being so bad at English, atleast once.
It takes .50 second to type the word "you." Mind you.
It takes .34 second to type the abbreviation "u."
So...wouldn't you agree that taking the extra .16 seconds is worth it when it comes down to sounding more mature?
It's like spending an extra dollar on a tie to go with your suit for an interview.
Although using abbreviations shouldn't be a deciding factor in whether a person is mature or not(as mentioned above), but in many cases it's easy to understand what's going in their head.
I see most staff members nowadays using correct English and very rarely using abbreviations, while some time ago it was more common to use abbreviations, also for staff members.
Homonyms A very common problem I've seen around the forums/in-game is the misuse of certain words. Homonyms (Then, Than, Their, There, etc.) are important but sometimes they just seem to not exist for people. I found a site which may help with that. (
http://wsuonline.weber.edu/wrh/words.htm)
The homonyms that people mostly mistake are their, there, and they're based on what you can see being used around forums/in-game. They're also frequently mistaken in many other languages, such as Italian(that's a shame because a lot of italians do mistake them). Here are few examples on how to use these.
Your - used to show belonging.
Example: This is
your house.
You're - Contraction meaning "You are."
Example: You're in the house.
Their - used to show belonging.
Example: This is
their house.
There - Used to show where something is.
Example: The house is over
there.
They're - Contraction meaning "They are." Used to show where people are.
Example: They're inside the house.
If you are not sure sound out the insurance in the sentence.
Example:
You're shoes are muddy. "You are shoes are muddy" does not work, so it should be written as:
Your shoes are muddy.
This way of examination work for all examples given above.
ConjugationConjugation is a common problem with people who, as I said before, aren't English-speakers.
I will give some examples of often mistaken conjugations. (If you're not sure about a conjugation this might come handy
http://www.scientificpsychic.com/verbs1.html)
Examples of conjugation:
The boy run to avoid the punnishment. (
Incorrect)
The boy ran to avoid the punnishment. (
Correct)
When we be going to Castle Wars? (
Incorrect)
When will we be going to Castle Wars? (
Correct)
ApostropheApostrophe's are used in contractions (The joining of two words.
Example Do not = Don't) and to show position/multiples.
Contractions are really easy to get used to, but for position/multiples it my take some more practise.
Using an apostrophe takes less than .14 seconds to add to words like "Don't" and "It's" and they really make what your saying look better than it would look without them.
Which sentence looks more appealing to you:
"
youre gonna explode from all that food ur eating!"
or
"
You're gonna explode from all that food you're eating!"
I think most of you would say that the second option is way better than the first one even if the meaning is exactly the same.
You may find useful using uppercase letters to begin sentences and to show the names of people/clubs/places/etc. can really help make what you're saying more appealing!
Striking up a conversationSo now that you know what to do, it's time for some practice! Having even small conversations with random people can really improve your social skills.
For some people it may be challenging to make friends and it could also affect their gameplay. I mean what fun is grinding out your skills and achieving those 99's if there's no one who cares in the slightest? Initially I had this issue too, but with time things came better.
Obviously there isn't an exact formula to make friends, but I'd like to give atleast an example of how to start a conversation, and the rest is up to you.
Let's suppose you're fishing at Rimmington, and you see a group of 3-4 other people there having a great conversation. You might think "
They seem to enjoy being here, how am I supposed to get in on this?". That's easy, you need to get them attention.
How? GREET THEM! Just say "
Hello", "
Hi", or whatever seems nice to you to greet them.
The easy part now is done, let's try to get on something more substantial. Try to talk them about something that you think those people would be interested to talk about: you might make a joke on one of their usernames(Sometimes people usernames just beg for a joke to be made of. Be careful to not offend them.), talk about recent game updates, about a skill or minigame.
See? It's not really that hard, hopefully talking about these things helps you breaking the ice. And once ice is broken? You may add them to your friendlist and ask/make them to do so. Here are some methods that I and for sure other people like to use.
- Ask them for it - "Friends?", it's a simple and polite way. It depends on the person, but usually it's quite effective.
- Make a joke - Sometimes jokes can really make miracles, it may also remember them that it's worth to keep in touch you. You could use something like "Add me plz...We both know you're going to do it one day haha".
- Force them to add you - This may seems brutal if expressed like that, but it may it's actually less awkward. PM them all casual, people usually add you to their friendlist. Anyways after striking up a conversation and say they go do something else, just send them a pm if their chat is on. They'll like to see that you're interested in them!
How to treat "noobs"Please keep in mind that by titling this section like this I'm not going in any way to offend any player, but just use a term which describes
an unexperienced person in a certain thing.There's no doubt that you have met atleast once in your whole Emps career a player who begged you for items or even annoyed to the point of losing your patience. Here you can find some tips on how to avoid, or how to treat, that kind of people.
BeggingNoobs will stop at nothing to get their hands on your 1337ness(leetness).
In the case of money,
never give them money. This benefits them in absolutely no way at all, and leads to future begging. They also might see that you easily give out your resources and they would simply try to exploit you as much as they can.
Fortunately Emps-World has some money-making methods that aren't difficult to explain and also don't take time to do so. So pointing people towards making their own resource might be a very good solution. You can also point them to the forums or wiki, where they can enlarge their knowledge about the game. This way you help people to start their own Emps career.
So after some rambling here go few exaples.
You may respond in these ways to beggers:"How do I make money?"
"You can do bow strings at the beginning, there's a guide on forums. You should give it a look."
"Phr33 gp pls"/"I have just started, give me something"
"Sorry, I don't give out money or items. But, I can tell you how to get it on your own if you'd like!"
"Borrow me a whip"
"Sorry, I can't borrow it out because I'm using it right now."
If they continue to ask then add them to your ignore list.
Flamers/TrollsIt's easy to find people who act in order to make you lose control and do something without thinking. This can be really frustrating in-game as well as in real life. Staff members or people who try to give a positive effect to the community are often disrespected and provoked by this kind of people. If you let them continue doing so initially it can be really negative and frustrating but with time flamers/trolls may notice that they have no effect on you and let you live in piece.
If someone's trying to start an argument with you then just ignore it. They really aren't worth it. Just put them on your ignore list and talk to someone else.
What would you rather:
A) Have a 10-minute long argument with someone through a wire connected to your wall and have them report you for calling them a you-know-what
- or -
B) Add the Flamer/Troll to your ignore list and continue playing.
Although A may be tempting..I hope you all chose B.
Quick note: Don't forget to report these people if they do break the rules.
ConclusionI thought about writing this guide as first of my upcoming guides because I saw some people talking rude to Staff members and other people who I think do not deserve that(actually no one does) and also some people who couldn't express theirselves well. You can call this useless but I think this can be useful for someone who want's to be a positive element in this community.
Hope you like this guide, please leave a short comment below and let me know how good, bad, useful or useless it is.
This guide may be slighty updated from time to time, with some new content.This guide is inspired and uses resources from other guides/topics already existing in the web. I'm not going to post any links for obvious reasons.
I also have to thank people who, with their criticism, encouraged me to put more personality in this guide.The following users liked this post: Triangle Dot
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Goodluck with Slayer.